Tell a new story, one that you love.
Has this ever happened to you?
As you read a book, it transported you to the time and place it was happening.
Maybe it was so effective that you were irritated when someone interrupted you, making you return to the “real” world?
As an author, I hope that is exactly what happens when you read one of my books. But. When you put the book down, the story is over.
Yes, you may have a memory of being there, a flavor, a feeling, but you know it isn’t real. This can also happen with movies, a TV show, a dream.
And it should, and can be, what happens with the stories of our daily lives.
But it often doesn’t.
Instead of becoming a distant memory—either a good memory that we enjoy or a bad one that we learn from—we get stuck in the story.
This can happen when we tell the story over and over again to ourselves and others. When our emotions tell the story instead of our hearts.
- Perhaps the story is something like one of these:
I know they cheated.
Covid ruined my life.
Everything changed without my permission.
I was terrified when that happened.
My heart was broken.
And we become even more stuck when someone validates us for the story.
But. They are not real. Any more than the book, the movie, the TV show, or the dream.
And. They run our lives.
So let me interrupt your stories. My stories. And ask, “Is this the life you want to live? Or would you like to write a new story?”
We are always being given the opportunity to do just that. The universe is constantly expanding. And life today is constantly expanding.
Either we go with it, or we retreat into an old story.
We can either choose to stay behind, or move with the times.
Although being stuck in a story may feel more comfortable, we know it’s not. But moving on can be difficult if we are in a story about ourselves, about how we can’t.
- Stories like:
I don’t, can’t, won’t, understand technology.
AI will ruin the world.
Things were better in the past.
I’m too old to learn about this new world.
I’m grieving for what is no longer.
But all those are stories. Memories of something that happened before. And all memories are faulty. We alter a story or relive a memory every time we tell it.
Which makes all stories, just that. Stories.
And because it is a story, it can be rewritten. We can consciously choose to write, live, a better one.
Except often we don’t.
Perhaps we love the story we tell because we get something out of it, or maybe we love the story we tell because it elicits sympathy or understanding from others.
Eventually, we must move on, or our stories will bury us, and we will only live half a life.
Yes, leaving a story can be difficult. Especially when we try to do it alone.
Instead, perhaps find a group of people, small, large, whichever suits you, that have chosen to expand, not contract. A group without judgment so you can safely rewrite your stories together. A group that has chosen to shed skin like the snake and emerge like the butterfly.
Sign up for classes, or ask for help from someone who knows something you want to learn.
Rewrite with others. It’s much easier.
Remember that not only is life just one big story, our memories of it are constantly changing.
Let memories hang out in the background like your favorite book, but choose not to believe that the story or the memories are your life.
They aren’t. Even the new story you write won’t be your life.
Good writers are constantly striving to write better books, and in the same way, we can constantly strive to write better life stories.
BECA LEWIS coaches, teaches, writes blogs and books, plays with art, and is addicted to reading. She lives in Ohio with her husband and has kids and grandkids scattered across the country.
