And yet, I will be.
I wonder what would happen if we all saw the past as not something to be lived over and over again, but as a past story we once read.
What if we could let go of the hurts, disappointments, mistakes, idiotic things, or even the amazing things we did when we were younger, and live the age and wisdom we are now?
What if we forgave ourselves and others for what we, or they, did or didn’t do in that past story?
Not to make it right or fix it because we probably can’t. But to be in the present now. Isn’t that what Ram Dass meant when he said, “Be here now.”
And yet, memories are one of our most precious possessions.
The problem is that both good and bad memories color the present when we make them as important now as they were then.
Because then we miss out on the present.
I can remember leaping wildly across the ballet floor, and now I feel lucky if I can do a little hop down the steps. On the flip side, I also remember being afraid, irritated, and unsure. Looking back, I can see how that affected my relationships with people I cared about.
If any of those good or bad memories affect my present moment, aren’t I losing out on what gifts today brings?
I am the same person I was, and yet I am not. Are you? Is anyone?
Today I wouldn’t make the same mistakes even more than I could leap across the floor in flying jetés.
When I was in my thirties, I wrote a letter to my parents. I had moved far away from them in my twenties, trying to make my own life, not the one I thought they wanted for me.
At the time, I was mad about all the perceived injustices in my youth.
They never mentioned the letter. Eventually, I hoped they forgot about it, even though every time I remembered what I had done, I regretted having written it.
Instead, I began to think about all the wonderful things both my parents had done for me. Some hadn’t worked. Some had. But they had always meant to do the right thing.
After my father passed away, and I was cleaning his files, I found that letter.
I burned with embarrassment and disappointment in myself.
Hadn’t I seen that it was my perception of what happened that I was unhappy about?
Hadn’t I written to a man and woman who had grown past whatever had happened in the past?
What had I been thinking?
My father had kept that letter, and yet he never let it affect how he acted with me. My guess is that he never showed it to my mother. He must have known I was no longer the person who wrote it.
Just as when we were babies, we made mistakes to learn. Why not accept that our grown-up mistakes are also to learn from?
What if we could all let what came before be as fleeting as remembering how to talk and only a story we once read?
What if we consciously choose to say to ourselves and each other, “What can I do for you as the me that I am now?”
Perhaps then we could all know each other as we are today, not as we were even a week ago.
Yes, I am counting on the fact that we are learning and growing from our falling down and mistakes, and some people aren’t and don’t.
But we are. And we can only shift our own perceptions and our own lives.
Let’s celebrate the person we have become.
Make new decisions. Use our current wisdom.
When we let go of guilt, regret, anger, sorrow, or even the joys of yesterday, we experience the gifts of today more fully.
Let’s be here now, as we are at this moment.
Learn from it. Grow in wisdom and grace.
And yet, the truth is, we are not becoming better. We are letting go of what we are not and becoming the person we have always been.
There is nothing to fix. There is always only letting go.
And since shifting perceptions and letting go is both an art and a science, come join the Perception Mastery Mastermind class that begins in just a few weeks. Get the tools to be the person you have always been.
BECA LEWIS coaches, teaches, writes blogs and books, plays with art, and is addicted to reading. She lives in Ohio with her husband and has kids and grandkids scattered across the country.
