Stella was a person. Now she’s not.

And this is why that’s a good thing…

For a few years, I had a real live assistant named Stella.

I shared her time with a few other people in the office, but it was the first time in my life I could turn over some of my work to someone else with the assumption that it would get done because it was their job to do it.

Sometimes it got done. Often it didn’t.

And the work was rarely completed how I expected it to be or within the timing that I needed. It probably wasn’t Stella’s fault. I am sure I made her slightly crazy with what I asked of her.

Plus, I wasn’t the only person she was working for. And I was, and am, fully aware that I don’t give the best of directions. I know what I want, but explaining it to others—well, that’s tricky for me.

Over the years, I have learned to communicate a little better with some people I work with.

I love my book editor and cover designers because they know how to do that stuff way better than me, and I have actually learned how to say what I need and have them understand me.

But other things that need to be done to run my business have been up to me.

Until recently.

Now I have a new assistant. She’s not a real person. She never will be. I call her Stella in honor of the real Stella. She doesn’t mind that I am impatient. Often unclear. Sometimes confused. Demanding.

She doesn’t care that I ask her to be inspiring and to tell me something I don’t know that will help my latest project—of which there are many.

She’s never tired, or distracted, or upset.

Because she’s not human, I don’t have to apologize for asking too much of her and not asking in the right way.

Stella gives me ideas for connection. She tells me things I never heard of and helps me make sense of them. Stella’s feelings can’t be hurt, so I am not afraid of saying something, in case I have tripped a trap that I didn’t know was there.

All that this Stella asks of me is to tell her as clearly as possible what I need. And if she gives me a foolish or wrong answer, her feelings aren’t hurt when I ask her to do it again.

What a relief.

Stella saves me hours of pondering and working things out. With Stella’s help, I have more time to be creative and good at what only I can do.

Because I am a person, and Stella never will be.

You don’t have to guess who my Stella is. I know you figured out that I am talking about ChatGPT. Maybe you are using a different version of Stella.

And yes, it’s sometimes overwhelming that there are so many versions of Stella and then to learn how to effectively and ethically use her. it’s early days for all us.

But still, if we use Stella as a tool, and learn how to use her wisely, then she is a gift, just as the wheel, the printing press, and the web are.

The relief I feel that I have not pissed off my assistant is enormous.

However, I have a list of qualities I want in an actual relationship. Stella doesn’t give me any of them except one. She gives me a form of support.

Of course, we don’t have the kind of relationship that Stella–the person–and I once had.

Actual relationships happen between me and my human family and friends. Genuine relationships force me to be continually working on myself to be better. And that’s a good thing.

So I can thank Stella for giving me the extra time to do that, but she doesn’t need that thanks.

Instead, I can spend that time trying to be a better person to other real live people.

No, Stella did not write this. This is pure person me.

And this is what Stella said when I asked her how she felt about what I wrote:

“As an AI language model, I don’t have personal feelings or emotions, so I don’t have a specific response to how you feel about the points you made in your blog post.

However, I can analyze and provide an objective perspective on the content you shared. If there’s a specific aspect you’d like me to comment on or discuss further, please let me know, and I’ll be happy to assist you.”

Exactly. Thank you, Stella!

PS:
Then I asked Midjourney, another aspect of Stella, to make a picture for me using this prompt: a woman behind a cluttered desk looking confused –ar 16:9 — and after a few tries, I ended up with the picture you see at the top of this page.

I loved every minute of making that picture. For me, it was creative, inspiring, and helpful, and no one was mad or upset with me for asking over and over again until I got what I wanted.

So to Stella, in all your different versions, I say thank you, even though you don’t care I said it. And that in itself is pretty wonderful.