When You Want To — But Are Afraid

When I was in elementary school, I saw the woman who would one day become my dance teacher perform the Red Slippers. At that moment, I fell in love and knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a dancer.

But one of my friends told me she taught ballet – she didn’t – and that you have to speak French when you take ballet.

And that ended that dream for me until I was in ninth grade, when I learned the truth.

Why? Because I was sure I couldn’t speak a foreign language, and I didn’t want to be a fool or embarrass myself.

I was afraid. And I didn’t want to tell anyone why I was afraid.

Later, in high school, in a very depressed and who-cares-about-anything-anyway state, I stood on my tip-toes, looked out my bedroom window at the boys playing football in the backyard, and had an epiphany.

I realized that if what I wanted to do didn’t have any meaning for me, I wouldn’t do it.

What that had to do with boys and football, who knows? But that realization changed my life. I had to find meaning in what I was doing, or I would never move forward.

Aren’t these two things the same for all of us?

We become afraid of something, so we don’t do it, even if it is something we really want to do.

And we don’t do something because we haven’t discovered our why for doing it.

The good news is we can do something even when we are afraid. And the why of doing anything is always within us and easily found.

Live The Life You Want To Live

Is there something you want to do? I know there is. The impulse to expand and grow is within all living things. Humans are great at shutting it down, but we are also great at getting over it.

It’s not essential if the thing you want to do is important. What is important is that you do it. And that it remains within the boundaries of love and kindness, both to yourself and others.

Here are three simple things to do to move forward:

1. Ask yourself: What am I afraid of?

Don’t be embarrassed about this. Maybe you are afraid that you will have to wear purple and stand on your head in the middle of a busy street to accomplish your dream. Or perhaps you don’t know what tool to use.

Fear of failure or feeling like a fool lives within all of us. It just doesn’t have to run our lives.

2. Now that you have the answer(s) of what you are afraid of, this is the simple solution. Research it. Research is the key to freedom.

If I had just asked someone about ballet and French, I would have discovered the truth. Who knows, I might have actually been a famous dancer. Okay, maybe not. But still, you get the idea.

Research to find out if it’s true that you have to wear purple and stand on your head in the middle of a busy street. Most likely, it’s not. And if it is, could you do it anyway?

Research what tool to use and how to use it. These days, all answers are right in front of us within minutes. Answers are just one internet search away.

3. Recognize that everything has a why, and it doesn’t have to be profound.

Why do you want to take up knitting? You love the feel of the wool. The colors are beautiful. You want to be a maker.

Why do you want to learn a new skill? It would be fun. You could meet someone interesting.

Can we find a why for doing the everyday things that keep our lives running? Yes!

You can love washing the dishes because you like the feeling of water on your hands, or an orderly kitchen, or pleasing someone.

Everything you want to do, or even have to do, has a why to it. I promise, if you listen to your inner voice and not the voice in your head, you will know it.

So go out, do, live, be what you want to be.

Dance your dream. Help others do the same.

Imagine the world we could live in if only we did these simple things and always, always, did them as an act of kindness to ourselves and others.

Ask not what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. — Howard Thurman

Isolation is the thief of time. — Lori Lambert Williams