If You Are Not Sure What To Believe

This might help—

I don’t think I want to meet the person who knows all the answers. I believe I would be suspicious. How could they be so sure? Did they cause the problem? Are they trying to ruin people’s lives? Do they know all the facts?

Our brains are designed to filter out what isn’t relevant. Otherwise, we might all go insane. However, with the constant flow of differing opinions these days, our filter may not be working too well. Or it’s working so well we are stuck in old beliefs.

Besides, this filtering process doesn’t always work in our favor. Sometimes it filters out what we actually need to know. Finding that perfect balance between too much or too little isn’t easy.

Especially these days. Everyone has an opinion. It is often so one-sided that it makes it almost impossible to keep ourselves from taking sides and joining in the fight about who is right and who is wrong. I don’t want to add to the confusion by adding my opinion why this is happening.

We all already know it’s stressful and overwhelming.

A few months ago, I was so stressed at the conflicting sides in the world, and within families, I stood in the backyard and alternated between screaming and crying. I was so confused I didn’t know what else to do.

I was angry about the divisions. And I was also sad because it appeared to me that others didn’t care enough about me (yes, I was taking it personally) to do what made me feel safe. I felt guilty for feeling that way. I was divided, and I had no clarity.

And then I realized that this was precisely the outcome that any force that wanted to divide wanted. Divide us as people. Divide us as nations. Divide ourselves within ourselves.

I was utterly and totally overwhelmed because I wasn’t thinking for myself. I was thinking about myself, but not for myself. And I was tired of it.

So I made a few simple rules to help.

Clarity returned when I realized it was not about me. If I thought about what others needed first and yet still remain true to my sense of integrity, I could make better decisions.

However, I needed something simple that would help me determine what was “right” or “wrong,” and I came up with these two questions to ask myself about anything I heard or read.

Don’t go along with the first one. Do follow the second.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we knew the answers to those two questions immediately? Sometimes we do. But often, the skill of others to control our thoughts and feelings is so good that what they say can sound like it is loving and kind, and yet it still divides.

We need blank space to think for ourselves. Quiet time. Sometimes a few moments of logical thinking helps. Sometimes it’s a walk around the block, or working in the garden, sitting in the woods, or listening to music.

If we are invested in the “other side,” sometimes we won’t like the conclusion. But being invested in a side is always a filter that works havoc in the end.

Choices made that help other people feel safe, and are kind, are going to always be the right choice.

But getting there is a process. It involves unclogging the filter of perceptions and listening to the heart of what is being said.

So I decided to do what was right for me, and at the same time, do whatever it took to make sure other people felt safe and taken care of when they were around me.

To stop listening to divisive rhetoric since division works both ways. Agreeing or disagreeing is still a division between them and us.

There is not a them or us, is there? It’s all of us. Or none of us.

Sooner or later, the dividers and haters will figure this out, but in the meantime, we can’t get caught up in it. We have to choose for ourselves.

Because once you realize it’s not about yourself, it’s about others, then it becomes a gift to yourself.

If you stand on the side of kindness, you can’t go wrong. If you take the stand that it’s my right to do something, even if it hurts others, you might.

Believe in kindness, diversity, unity, and equality. It’s that simple.