July is the perfect time to explore Love. It’s what the month of July is all about. At least if you follow the teaching of the Seneca, and Twyla Nitsch. Yellow is July’s color, and it’s all about Love and Devotion.
But what kind of Love and devotion? Here are some questions and answers to help us be better at how we love. Because it’s not who we love, but how we love that counts. Why? Because it determines our experience of Love and everyone wants to be loved.
We can love and be devoted to things that have no intrinsic value. Or are harmful to ourselves and others. Or it can be out of balance. If our Love is for an object or a material goal, it can often be subverted or reversed.
So how do we keep from loving something so much it is harmful to ourselves or others? How do we stop holding on to things that don’t serve our higher selves? How do we stop following impulses that lead us down roads we really don’t wish to travel?
Here are some tools I have used for myself.
Ask yourself why you love it.
The answer to this question could surprise you. I have loved things and people that were not good for me. As soon as I started asking myself why I loved them and discovering the unhealthy reason, their hold on me disappeared.
Realize that Love is not something we have to earn or create.
It is omnipresent. We miss seeing Love because we look for it through our biased perceptions. As we look instead at the universe, and all its infinite parts as qualities, and not something to be measured or acquired, Love takes on a new meaning. How we love becomes more about being our true selves and sharing it.
Don’t separate.
There is no them and us. Nor are there parts of ourselves that aren’t lovable. Our true selves are Love Loving Itself. How we love will be more effective when we realize this fact. Loving our neighbors begins with ourselves. Within omnipresent Love, there are no sides and no separation.
Don’t judge how others love.
Oh, this is probably self-explanatory.
All talk, no action doesn’t count. All action, little talk, does.
Sure we all love to hear words of Love, but what about Love in action? Some people express their Love though action. Accept that is how they love and be happy you are a recipient. That goes back to not judging how others love.
Pick a quality of Love and live it.
There is an infinite number of quality words about Love. Here are just a few:
Caring, goodwill, friendliness, support, appreciation, seeing the good in others, compassion, fondness, kindness, cherishing.
There are many more. Pick one and practice being it. Be grateful for every expression of Love that you see. Just because it might not be directed at you, doesn’t mean you aren’t part of it. Remember, it’s all Love Loving Itself.
Be useful.
Emerson said, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
Do something. Anything.
Ask yourself if you can be helpful. Then do it. Don’t expect anything in return.
Keep moving.
When we decide to stop trying, not doing, closing ourselves off, we close off the possibilities of Love in all its forms.
Do what you don’t know how to do. Yet.
Take action and make that happen. Do what you can’t do. Figure it out. It doesn’t have to be significant. In fact, it’s the small things that make the difference.
Be expectant of good. Be willing to love. Be willing to be loved. And celebrate Love wherever you find it.
Simple right? Actually, it is, when we get our personalities and egos out of the way, Love is all around us.
BECA LEWIS coaches, teaches, writes blogs and books, plays with art, and is addicted to reading. She lives in Ohio with her husband and has kids and grandkids scattered across the country.
